Sunday Morning 6 a.m. I hardly slept more than six hours. Getting out of bed? Already? It's only 6 a.m.
That is what you promised yourself last night before you set the alarm clock. Don't you remember? The 30K training run, that was on your goal list for this week?
Yeah, I remember. But it looks like it will rain.
The fresher the better. At least the rain, if it ever starts raining, will keep your body at a tolerable temperature.
There must have been a bunch of other thoughts roaming around my mind. But I started concentrating on my breath. Once I had made it to the bathroom and taken the sleepiness away with a splash of cold water in my face, I became more alert, friendly towards the tricks the mind wanted to play on me, but also firm in my resolve to go out for the run.
I know that once I set a foot in front of the door, no matter what the time of the day, late at night or before sunrise, I am in love with running.
I just have to make it in front of the door.
That's the battle. The mind against my awareness, alertness, presence. There are always stories in my head, why now is a bad time to start running. My mind doesn't get tired of inventing new reasons:
But the stories come up. If I want it or not. All I can do is embrace them. Be aware of them. Laugh at the sometimes absurd excuses my mind makes to keep me from doing the one thing I set my alarm for.
I have a cup of steaming herbal tea.
I put on my shoes.
And I set a foot in front of the door.
P.S.: The week after that I travelled to Regensburg in the south of Germany to join their Marathon. The run there wouldn't have been as enjoyable without the 30K training run the week before.
We grow up with the idea that we are this little person
That we have to fight to make it in this world
That life is tough.
That it is a dog eat dog world
That only the strong survive.
That it is an eye for an eye.
That the competition is out to get us.
To knock us down.
That we can't do this.
And that we shouldnt do that.
That it's to risky to stick your neck out.
And impolite to rock the boat.